that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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