You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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