If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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