Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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