Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
