Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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