Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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