That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
