Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
