I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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