like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
