I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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