It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
