Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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