dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize