I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
