it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
