they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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