This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He better not be in your backpack
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
