Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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