Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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