Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
