I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
