Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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