so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We smell like vodka and hangover
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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