That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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