I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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