Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
COCAINE IS GR8
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
