The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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