At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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