who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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