I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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