Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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