In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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