I will die if light touches me.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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