The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
do herpes really smell.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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