just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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