Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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