he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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