dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
