so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
