His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The uberlube is also flammable
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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