I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
where are my pants?
in the oven.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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