im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
