I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
