I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
