I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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