come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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