U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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