I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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